yaygocats: discomplete: “i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography “I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.
vexenort: cumsquats: *cracks an egg on my head* *a lemon falls out* What a time to be alive what the fuck does this post even mean
lol 13 year olds shouldnt be on tumblr neither should 14 year olds or 15 yr olds….16yr olds„ 17, 18,19, 20 yr olds, nobody nobody should be on tumblr horrible website
amazzingphil: [IT IS PERFECTLY OKAY TO LOVE A BAND’S MOST POPULAR SONG THERE IS A REASON IT IS THEIR MOST POPULAR SONG]
a-pariah: a-pariah: why is the female hero so often tomboyish why cant there just be one like oops i chipped my barbie pink nail polish while brutally killing an entire armada of time traveling ninja pirates with my hair curler nvm found her
leonmcgann: its weird how google became a synonym for search
300 Days until the Divergent Movie
leftforbed: leftforbed: mcsnuggie: true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn why would the movie eat my popcorn nevermind i get it
isurvivedthekobayashimaru: I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.” And I think I actually scared him...
captorquest: inkwelldried: captorquest: any negative thing that can happen about yahoo buying tumblr is worth the “david karp daddy” jokes stopping how sure are you about that vomits on everything
‘if youre tired during school just go to bed earlier’
big-booty-itches: when your parents ask you to help them with technology
t-r-u-e-he4rt: edsomniac: “are you dating taylor swift?” forever rebloggg
genocidercyo: clockey: you’re the window to my wall you’re the sweat that drips down my balls
thecompanionsdoctor: Whenever my friend says goodnight to me on Skype he sends me this gif and I wanted to send it to him tonight so I went to Google “black man turning off lamp” but Google autofill changed it to “black man turning into jet” and I got this Long story short it’s 1am and I’ve been laughing at this for approximately 20 years
gymleaderfrank: If my mom knew I had 57 tumblr followers she would stop telling me what to do.
iwilleatyourenglish: iwilleatyourenglish: once my baby was being really annoying so i put it in the basement but then i forgot and decided i didn’t want my basement anymore so i got rid of the door and then decided to do the rest later and when child protective services came they couldn’t get to my kid so they just wandered around my house i’m talking about the sims please don’t call the...
laurenwasplayingwithstickers: sansawiles: robinrealhood: welcome to the uk where there’s currently a national debate on how people use their toilet paper Why is there a dog in the middle? Its the andrex puppy you barbarian
wikatiepedia: crimsoncamellianeko: forimuchdesiretospeakwithhim: wikatiepedia: from now on I’m going to convey sarcasm over the internet by typing like this oh wow look how sarcastic that looks that actually does look really sarcastic though. this is revolutionary DEAR GOD SOMEONE HAS INVENTED THE SARCASM FONT THIS IS A TIME FOR CELEBRATION
No Harvard graduate has ever solved this riddle....
adamusprime: I am ill, I am real, I might got a deal. I pop bottles and I have the right kind of build. I am cold, I am dope, I might sell coke. I’m always in the air, but I never fly coach. What am I?
mutisija: when the battle music starts to play but you cant see the enemy
spainstateofmind: thebadwolf: Fun party trick: put Skittles and M&M’s in the same bowl, wait for someone to grab a handful. you can go fuck yourself
usapotterfan: avenger-kitty-glorious-purrs: lovelynobody00: iamshirelocked: yo mama’s so fat every time she turns around there’s a new season of sherlock I’m not even in the Sherlock fandom and I literally spit food all over my laptop when I saw this. dat reaction image